Police Beat - January 23, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Summertime Crime (Redux)

If this headline sounds a bit familiar, well, it is.

Another victim of Seasonal Affective Disorder went to the Dark Side after several continuous days of snow left him craving the smell of freshly cut grass.

With a half a foot or more of the cold, white stuff completely hiding any signs of growing turf, this vitamin D deficient defalcator forced open the storage shed doors at a property in the 16200 block of NE Woodinville Duvall Road and made off with the lawn care equipment.

Those grass cutting days will be upon us sooner than most of us would like.

Sounds like someone needs to take a chill in the winter wonderland that is our current reality.

Deli Discombobulation

Perhaps it was the call of the pastrami which had this bologna burglar skulking about a popular deli in the 19800 block of 141st Place NE in the wee hours of the morning.

Maybe it was the dream of the ultimate Dagwood Sandwich that routed this prosciutto pilfering prowler out of a deep sleep and on a processed meat mission.

We’ll never know what motivated this pepperoni plunderer to shatter the glass door of this establishment, leaving cupboard doors ajar and drawers agape.

After this cutlet caper, the crook took his Bumstead business elsewhere.

Disturbia Redux

What was described last week as a disturbing trend seems to be evolving into an alarming routine: Vehicle windows are being smashed, and thieves are helping themselves to the goods therein.

The hotspots haven’t changed either: The Park and Ride area, and parking areas along and near NE 175th.

This repeat report is getting beyond redundant.  It is hereby declared that all vehicles are henceforth off limits to thieves.

That should fix it.


Room with a View

A rooftop in the 14100 block of NE Woodinville Duvall Road was the temporary address for a person or persons unknown.

Maintenance personnel found the basic comfort accoutrements, including a sleeping bag, socks, sweatpants and soda pop, plus a jacket and neckties for the discerning GQ gentleman.

Alas, this act of trespass came to an abrupt and ignominious termination.

Police Beat - January 16, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat

Officers responded to a report of a suspected cat burglar in the 17100 block of 131st Avenue NE.

The only loss appears to be the residents’ grip on reality.

Our two Tweeties were relieved of their suspected hallucinogenic drugs and left to sweat out Sylvester’s next appearance.

Granny would not approve.

What a Revolting Development This Is …

In what seems to be a disturbing trend in the areas of Garden Way NE, NE 178th Place, Woodinville Snohomish Road, and NE 200th Street, thieves broke out car windows and made off with whatever they found inside, which in one case, was nothing.

If you leave something in your car, be prepared to lose it.  Bring your valuables in with you, which in one victim’s case would have been their fishing gear.

You might get some funny looks, but it beats the alternative.

Top Three Things to NOT Do When You Have An Outstanding Warrant:

Number three on that list would be: Ride in a suspicious vehicle with four occupants.  Number two: Go into a known criminal’s house when the police are driving by.  Number one: Go into a known criminal’s house where there are two other people with outstanding warrants.

This law-breaking lass made it a hat trick for officers, as all three were booked into jail.

Smile!  You’re on Candid Camera

A brazen bandit revisited the scene of prior shoplifting crimes where she had been videotaped taking a five-finger discount in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place.

Store security recognized her smiling mug and made an arrest.

She was fingerprinted and released, pending theft charges.

Police Beat - January 9, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Trespass Jackass

In spite of a plethora of signs stating that trespassers were most unwelcome at a property near the 14400 block of Woodinville Road, a hipster doofus in a blue two-door sports car blew right past the signage and onto the victim’s saturated front lawn.

Satisfied with the ruts he had wrought upon the soaked sod, our misbehaving meddler spun back onto the driveway and headed off into the sunset for more mischief — destination unknown.

Summertime Crime

In what was quite possibly an extreme case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the dark, rainy and gloomy days of late apparently pushed at least one person over the edge into the land of delusions. Mistaking the shiny surface of the rear window of a car in the 18200 block of 142nd Avenue NE for a solar orb, our hallucinating sun-seeker dove right into the light. Items taken from the vehicle included sunglasses, suntan lotion and the faceplate from the auto’s stereo system — perhaps to be used as a reflective tanning device. With winter barely underway, this beach bum had better get a grip.

Pesky Plunderers

In two separate incidents, one at the 132nd block of NE 171st Street and the other at the 18000 block of Garden Way, the front passenger windows of vehicles were broken out and items taken.  In a third incident at the 13900 block of NE 178th, there was no sign of forced entry to another vehicle, but the doors and trunk were found unlocked by the victim.

Although our victims did everything right by locking the doors and keeping valuables out of sight, a determined thief will make sure they don’t go away empty-handed, taking any available “trophy.”  (Reminds me of the time my mom’s car was broken into and the classic PNW blown-out umbrella was stolen)  No lessons here — just virtual lashes for the lousy larcenist(s).

The Unkindest Cut of All

In a final car crime that goes way beyond pesky, a victim in the 14200 block of NE 181st Street parked his soft-top convertible car in his condo’s parking lot in the evening, only to find that an impromptu chop shop had descended there overnight.

The plunderers cut the cloth roof of the vehicle and made off with the car’s steering column and wheel, car seats, the dashboard instrument unit, plus hand tools.

Kind souls, what, weep you when you but behold, our victim’s vehicle wounded?  Brutus left no other clues behind.

Police Beat - January 2, 2012

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Break- room Bad

A suspected cat burglar entered the breakroom at the local PetsMart and went through an employee’s bag.

Some of the items snagged included the victim’s wallet and makeup bag.  It was also rumored that inventory counts showed a shortage on the most recent edition of Cat Fancier.

One can only surmise that the bandit made off with the makeup bag in order to perpetrate the following crime under disguise:

Cash Trash

Not satisfied with the previously reported booty, and under heavy makeup camouflauge, Puss-n-Boots went to another Garden Way business and gained entry to a locked office space.

The plunderer plucked several cards from the victim’s wallet and left the purse in a trash can.

Holiday Hat Trick

Having scored at the previous two workplace breakrooms, our feline defalcator (or perhaps a littermate) decided to make it three for three and traversed the parking lot over to Cost Plus to pillage yet another breakroom locker.

This time, those sticky paws absconded with the victim’s debit card and quite possibly some holiday Stollen and champagne flutes, which were up to 50 percent off.

Breaking news: No Shopping Rage

One should never go looking for crime, but this Police Beat reporter thought that if ever there were a place for shopping rage to occur, it would happen at one of the stalwarts of Woodinville holiday shopping’s guilty pleasures: The Day-after Christmas sale at Molbak’s.

Throngs were lined up in orderly fashion awaiting the 0800 opening.

Clerks were stationed at registers with nary a panicked look among them.

The opening bell released an eager, yet restrained crowd.  There was no pushing, shoving, nor grabbing.

Shoppers graciously answered other shopper’s questions on where they might find this or that.

The closest thing that came to registering an annoyance was when one shopper failed to realize the shopping carts had a lower level which juts out further than the top level, and the person in front politely pointed this out to the person who was inadvertently “pushing” her from behind.

Those waiting in line for the cash registers exchanged cheerful banter.

Nope, no need for police assistance at this place — just another reason why I’m so glad to call Woodinville home and why we all love this city.

Here’s hoping for fewer incidents to report and a wonderful new year for all!

Police Beat - Dec. 26, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

No Gas for YOU!

A  man was finishing up pumping gas at a Kingsgate grocery/gas station, when another potential pumper pulled up in front of his vehicle, nose to nose.

When he had finished, he asked the female driver of the other car to back up a bit so that he could leave.

She refused, stating that he had parked on the “wrong” side of the pump, since his gas tank was on the far side.

Several more attempts at reasoning with her were met with the statement: “I’ll stay here all night if I have to.”

The man gave up, informed the station attendant and left on foot to continue shopping at the grocery store and pharmacy.

When he returned approximately 20 minutes later, the female driver had not budged.

At this point, he noticed that there was a baby in the back seat who had been sitting in the cold car the entire time.

He decided to back out of the spot for the sake of the baby, and left.

Police arrived, and by this time the female driver had pulled in front of another pump and still refused to leave.

She informed police that she was waiting for the man to return so that he could be issued a citation for illegal parking.

She advised the officer: “I’ll stay here all night if I have to.”

The officer gave her the option of leaving right then or being arrested and having her car impounded.

Reason finally prevailed, and our parking Nazi left with the baby on board.

It is unknown if her original mission of filling her gas tank was accomplished.

Auto Come Home

There are few worse ways to ring out the old year than having your car stolen.

Our hapless roisterer had parked his car in an apartment parking lot in the 17100 block of 131st Avenue NE only to find it had gone missing overnight.  Here’s hoping that the New Year brings suitable vehicular restoration for the injured party and righteous wretchedness to the evildoer.


Cover Up Caper

Cat owners out there are familiar with feline litter box routines, whereby the digestive byproducts are first inspected, then discreetly covered up.

A suspected cat burglar in the 12700 block of NE 178th must have forgotten where he left his specimen, as he was seen peering into various vehicles in the parking lot with a flashlight.

His explanation to a witness that he had been urinating backs this theory up.

Unable to locate his excretion and facing further questioning from the witness, our crafty tomcat decided to scat.


No Rest for the Wicked

You would think that burglars might give their craft a breather during the height of the holidays, but in a quest for that last perfect gift, a thief broke out the glass of a back door in the 19400 block of 132nd Ave NE and made off with an iPad and jewelry.  Here’s hoping those burgling ways go auld lang syne in the New Year.