Police Beat - Dec. 19, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

Recalling a Seinfeld episode where Jerry bemoaned the fact that the true art of TAKING a car rental reservation was, in fact, HOLDING the reservation, the following incident sounds familiar: A customer in the 19200 block of Woodinville-Snohomish Road expertly executed the TAKING of the rental tools but got confused about RETURNING the rental tools.

A detective will follow up with possible theft charges for our Kramer-esque crook.

Too Legible to be True

An enterprising drug seeker hatched a plot to procure prescriptions of the narcotic kind by purloining a prescription pad from her former employer.

The first clue that the Rx was not legitimate was the fact that it was completely legible.

One can only guess at the humungous quantities ordered up as well.

Woodinville police arrived on the scene to ring up the charge for those painkilling pills: Forgery.

Try scribbling next time.

Triple Dog Dare Redux

A driver in the 19500 block of 156th Avenue NE must have taken a previously reported Police Beat incident to heart and decided to settle, once and for all, the question of whether  a car bumper does indeed stick to a pole when contact is made in freezing temperatures.

The official results are in and the answer is negative.  The pole in question went down and the driver was processed for DUI and released.

Ms. Grinch

Here’s another contender for the most epic-sized lump of coal ever to be found in a Christmas stocking: An unknown female suspect stole the tip jar from a business in the 17600 block of 140th Avenue NE  and ran out the door.

Video of the caper was sent to the North Pole.  Guess who’s being added to the “Naughty” list?

Police Beat - Dec. 12, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Mall Malaise

Some people will go to incredible lengths to avoid shopping in the malls during the holiday season.

An excellent alternative is to shop locally to support your local retailer and community with the sales tax revenue.

Shopping in the 13900 block of NE 178th Place in particular, will support your local community.  One minor detail is that the aforementioned sales tax must be paid at time of purchase.

If you are seen skedaddling away with your three buddies in a getaway car with your undisturbed wallet snugly in its place, gift items in tow, one has to wonder about your sincerity of supporting your local retailer and community.

These four bad Santas were apprehended shortly after their shoplifting spree thanks to information provided to the Woodinville PD by alert loss prevention employees.

Apparently, these were equal opportunity grubstakers, as goods from multiple retailers were discovered and returned.

Our stingy Scrooges were fingerprinted and released pending misdemeanor theft charges. I know at least four local miscreants who can expect epic-sized lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings this year.

Hot Gifts

Not that you should ever look a gift horse in the mouth, but if you should happen to open up some gifts on Christmas morn’ resembling a slightly used purse, jackets and a child booster seat, there’s a slight chance they were lifted from a couple of vehicles in the 18400 block of Woodinville Snohomish Road.

Mr. Grinch left no other clues behind.

Even If It Is Nailed Down …

… enterprising thieves will find a way to liberate it and recycle it.

These heisters weren’t thinking “Green” in terms of recycling, though. The only green they were thinking about was the cold, hard kind from re-sale.

The lifted items included landscape lights and six copper caps from the patio heaters of a business at the 140000 block of NE 145th Street.

Re-gifting at its Worst

Combining the worst qualities of our bad Santas, recycled gift givers and Grinches, a daughter and her boyfriend absconded with her mother’s jewelry, one piece of which was subsequently located at a local pawn shop.  The items were apparently purloined to feed a very bad habit, which wasn’t shopaholicism. Looks like someone needs a serious New Year’s Resolution.

Police Beat - Dec. 5, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Triple Dog Dare

It’s that time of the year again when temperatures are dropping and thoughts start turning to that age-old question: Do things really freeze to poles once contact is made.

It must have been a triple dog dare (TDD) which caused a man to test this theory in the 15100 block of NE Woodinville Duvall Road. (Heck, anyone could have told him this only works with tongues, not car bumpers.)

When police responded to the TDD, they found damage to the utility pole; however, the risk-taker was MIA.

A check of the registered owner’s address found the driver replacing his tire.

He said he didn’t notice the damage to the pole. He got a C+ on that excuse, was cited for hit and run and booted down a long exit slide.

One Man’s Treasure ...

... is apparently another man’s junk.

A burglar broke into a residence in the 15000 block of NE 173rd Street and started ripping open boxes with a childlike glee normally reserved for Christmas morning. Apparently, he didn’t find a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, or anything else on his wish list, as nothing appears to have been taken at this time.

It’s just as well, as he probably would have shot his eye out.

Auto Deposit

A woman in the 13900 block of NE 145th Street must have been in a special hurry, as she and her car took a short cut down a bank.

A witness helped her make her withdrawal from the car.  Thankfully, there were no deposits of blood, or anything else made.  You can take this to the bank: She was processed for DUI and released.

Auto Withdrawal

In a recurring theme these past few weeks, automobile windows have been broken and the purses inside withdrawn. The two latest incidents happened at NE 145th Woodinville-Redmond Road and the 18100 block of 140th Avenue NE.

Please remember: Purses are like babies and dogs.  You should never leave them in the car by themselves.

Police Beat - Nov. 28, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

Smoke and a Purse

A shopper went into a business in the 14200 block of Woodinville Duvall Road and left her purse in her unlocked car.

While one could spend some time pondering the mysteries of what one could possibly be shopping for without said purse, as most purchases require the kind of remuneration normally found in purses, I digress.  When she returned to her car, she noticed the aroma of smoke. Perhaps a cigarette butt had stuck to the bottom of her shoe? (This happened to me recently.)

Maybe it was an odor emanating from another motorist’s rolled down window? The entire ride was spent contemplating the possibilities of the origin of this tobacco effluvium.  When she went to grab her purse to continue the rumination inside, she came up empty handed. Austin Powers (or some other thief) had gone for the smoke and a the purse.

Getting Tired

The holidays are just beginning and people are already tired—as in slash tired.

While the majority of holiday makers are stringing lights and mistletoe, shopping or getting busy with the baking, some person or persons has been busy in the most decidedly un-merry mode of slashing tires.

In three separate instances which may or may not be related, tires on cars on NE 140th, NE 180th and NE 185th, were slashed. The only suspect reported so far was seen exiting a blue sports car with a spoiler, and was attired in a hoodie and orange shorts. Crimes of fashion aside, someone needs to get their Santa on and start cutting loose with the holiday instead of tires.

Lock It or Lose It

Bicycle locks are much more effective when you use them.   This lesson was learned the hard way by a victim in the 17900 block of 140th Lane NE, when he returned to where he had left his bicycle outside the apartment with the lock around the bike, but not fastened. The bike was gone so fast, there wasn’t even a hint of a vapor trail left behind. At least make them put some effort into it…

Lock It and Lose It Anyway

Sometimes, you can take all available precautions and a determined thief will get their booty anyway.

A padlock was cut from the victim’s gate surrounding a rental yard in the 13600 block of NE 177th Place.  A company truck was stolen, but while the officer was taking the report, Seattle PD found the truck abandoned in their city.  Joy ride over.

Police Beat - Nov. 21, 2011

  • Written by Compiled by Maggie Inahara from City of Woodinville Police Reports

How Much Is That Purse In The Window?

Unfortunately for a Ross Store employee, a would-be purse shopper was eyeballing the purse in her Kia Spectra parked out front, rather than the purses displayed in the store.  With a quick rap of a blunt tool, the passenger window became pebbles upon terra firma and the purse with contents disappeared faster than a cat at bath time.  Always remember: Locks keep honest people honest.  Take it with you, or consider it a donation for the devious.

Barista Bummer

It sounds like our largest shopping area parking lot is becoming a favored target for foragers, pillagers and thieves.  The only thing more dismaying than finding your window smashed and your purse stolen is finding your entire vehicle MIA.  Just feet away from the purloined purse caper at Ross, a very bummed barista from B&N returned to her parking spot to find something other than her 1995 black Honda Accord awaiting her return.  The prognosis for recovery is not good, as this is one of the most popular cars for parts among street racers.  Bummer, indeed!

Picture Perfect Penmanship

A graffiti artist must have taken umbrage over a recent report of poor graffiti penmanship on a Dairy Queen light pole.  This time, a stencil was used for a more easily deciphered dialogue on a fence in the Winchester Hills area. With neatness that would have made any teacher proud, the unfortunate choice of media makes us all pained over the trouble and expense of eradicating this rude rascality.  Take thy “art” elsewhere and save the perfect penmanship for purer purposes.

Hot Commodity

In a caper rivaling the 2003 Antwerp Diamond Heist, a desperado described as a 16-18-year-old white male wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt absconded with an undisclosed number of Bic lighters from an AM-PM mini mart.

The getaway vehicle was described as a silver Honda Accord. There are currently no further clues to this brazen act of cleptoflamia.  Concert-goers should be on the lookout for any suspicious flame wavers matching the suspect’s description.  Don’t they know there’s a free App for that?