Police Beat - May 16, 2011

  • Written by Kelly Parker

Pry, Pry Again

May 4: The office manager of a Woodinville dental office arrived at work to find that someone had badly damaged the back door in an attempt to break in. She called police immediately.

The responding officer perceived that a large tool had been used in the attempt, but a security bar on the interior portion of the door had thwarted the suspect’s success. He also determined that this had not been an isolated incident; two other businesses had been broken into successfully.

Employees of these businesses arrived to identify their losses. (One employee advised that its cleaning service had noted the break-in earlier in the morning. The janitor sent her a text message regarding the matter, but for some reason did not call the police.)

In one office, the suspect pried open a filing cabinet that held the petty cash, which the suspect took for himself. While in this office, he knocked a hole into a wall shared with an unoccupied portion of the complex.

The suspect also visited a third business, where he rifled through its cabinets and drawers before moving onto a safe in which deposits were kept. This, too, was pried open. He removed the nearly $150 it held. The suspect may have left a fingerprint or two behind, but other details of his identity are unknown.



May 7: An officer responded to the report of a shoplift at a Woodinville retailer, where two young ladies had placed in their purses several shirts, scarves, and pairs of thong underwear (some of which appeared to be coordinated with the scarves — who knew Garanimals had an intimates line?).

Once their design was known, the duo was observed with the greatest care. To lend an air of legitimacy to their undertaking, each young lady selected an item that she intended to purchase, while neglecting to pay for the pursefuls of ill-gotten gains. (Taste was not a concern, as evidenced by the zebra-print wallet chosen by one of the ladies.)

After leaving the store, the two were stopped. They waited in an office for a police officer to arrive, to whom they conceded their wrongs. They were fingerprinted and served trespass notices; related charges will be forwarded to the prosecutor for consideration. 


Dollar Signs

May 4: On this afternoon, an officer sitting at a red light noticed that the car in front of him had expired tabs, which naturally led to a traffic stop.

While speaking with the driver, the officer could not help but notice the strong odor of botanical specimens, forbidden to all but certain ailing Washingtonians.

Two passengers – one of whom was well known to the officer – in the backseat of the vehicle fumbled visibly as if to conceal something. They were ordered to keep their hands where the officer could see them.

The driver was asked to step from the car and agreed to a search of the vehicle, after admitting to having some of the specimens. A backpack search turned up a large quantity of the suspected substance, some rather conveniently packaged, which belonged to the passenger known to the officer. He was handcuffed and searched (mysteriously, he had well more than $1,500 in his pockets).

The driver and other passenger were released at the scene. The youthful capitalist admitted that the profit motive fueled his enterprise.

Charges will be determined after confirmation of the specimen by a trustworthy laboratory.

Police Beat - May 9, 2011

  • Written by Kelly Parker

Blind Spot

April 27: An officer assisting with traffic control at a very well marked Woodinville construction site was engaged in conversation with other officers during a lull in traffic when she noticed a vehicle hurtling toward them at a speed unfit for an area where construction is ongoing. It was clear as the driver proceeded that he had no intention of stopping. The officer yelled and waved her arms to make the hazards more obvious to Mr. Oblivious. He braked hard as workers at the site fled for safety. The officer promptly approached the driver and found him enjoying a nicotine fix. She asked if he had been drinking — as there were a number of signs to indicate alcohol was at issue, such as an unopened frothy beverage in the center console — but received no response.She asked how he had missed all the indications of the construction site.

"All I saw was the ‘slow’ sign," he answered.

The officer expressed a state of incredulity, but this did not alter the driver’s perception. Another officer arrived on scene to deal with the driver.The driver told this officer that he had a couple of drinks and admitted that perhaps they had affected him a touch.He refused to do voluntary field sobriety tests; he was arrested. Upon being seated in the patrol car, the man requested an opportunity to relieve himself but was told by the arresting officer that he’d have to wait a wee bit until they arrived at the precinct office.

A breath sample taken later revealed the driver to be kinda sorta really completely over the legal limit. Related charges soon to come!

Flame Out

May 3: A report of vandalism drew an officer to a Woodinville bar where the victim had been providing his vocal services.

Earlier in the evening, the singer was confronted by a former love interest and an argument ensued before the aggrieved woman took her leave. Nearly an hour later, the singer went to his vehicle to find it had been keyed. His current love interest reported that her keys and wallet were missing from her jacket, which she had left unattended. The missing keys were later discovered near the singer’s car, but the woman’s wallet was nowhere to be found. The man immediately concluded that his former flame was in the wrong. The officer attempted to telephone her, without success. (Police in a nearby town visited the flame’s home, but no one answered.)

Photos of the singer’s vehicle were taken and a case opened related to the stolen wallet.

Police Beat - May 2, 2011

  • Written by Kelly Parker


April 21: A group of businesses involved in the renovation of a Woodinville building left their materials and tools in the building overnight.

On this morning, the first employee who arrived found that the deadbolts on the doors were not locked. He then noticed that someone had been inside and liberated a number of items, an air compressor, a computer, and nail guns, among them.

Additionally, the thief made off with lots and lots of copper. (It seems securing mineral leases is too much work for the criminal element.) Another employee arrived soon thereafter and called police.

The responding officer dusted the building for prints, which had unpromising results. He contacted all interested parties who might have lost something to learn more specifics. No other details were known about the identity of the suspect.


April 16: A Woodinville man was awakened early in the morning by his infant, perhaps not all that suspicious to anyone who knows anything about infants. But when he went downstairs to tend to his child, he observed that his front lawn had been sullied.

A plethora of plastic spoons and toilet paper littered the area, strewn about the grass, driveway, and home. No suspects were seen and there were no witnesses to the offending act. The man was concerned that the detritus was potentially a nonverbal communication from a man — a roof-cleaning solicitor — with whom he and his wife had a disagreement. They were not certain of a connection between the incidents or whether the whole affair could be chalked up to adolescent high jinks.